my boyfriend and I are celebrating one year this weekend. we actually met a little sooner than the 4th of July but it was actually like the best first date and when we really saw the potential of our pairing

there have been some struggles of course when aren’t their struggles in life of one form or another right?
I think the first year of any relationship is kind of like the getting to know you period. And you can’t really say that you’re a true couple before that, if you ask me. You can say it and you might know it; but, I just think that you gotta wait that full year to see if it’s really going to be something that lasts

I feel like we’re just now getting to that point and it feels great and I honestly would like to be able to stay with him for the rest of our lives I really would… And I know what that can entail because the last half of life isn’t always the easiest. There are health problems or financial situations that come up– you know all kinds of stuff. it’s not just like the first half of life where you’re partying it up all the time

his grandparents are still together and they help each other out through thick and thin and all types of situations and its a daily effort that’s made… but its a rewarding one
the longest running relationship in my living family now is my aunt and uncle on my dads side my dad’s sister and her husband have been together forever and they’ve never neither one of them has ever been with anyone else


. Anyway I’m feeling good about this weekend we’re going to BBQ up some ribs I’m going to get them marinating today I’m doing laundry today yesterday I cleaned my shower like majorly it was a really thorough cleaning it still looks terrible because it’s an old bathtub that needs to be replaced but its clean

since I’m on semi paid vacation which is completely awesome I have been doing as many chores and errands and doctors appointments and everything else that I can do…. all that stuff that you can’t do when you have a full time job because by the time you’re done your business day is over and you’re exhausted you know?

its been around a hundred and seven degrees for a couple of days and you don’t really want to do anything after noon, it’s like “I’m not going anywhere” you just want to stay in by the air conditioning. I have a crappy little wall unit air conditioner and I have to leave it on all day and half of the night just to keep my apartment at a decent temperature. I live upstairs so that adds to the situation

anyway that’s pretty much all I have for now but hopefully I’ll be taking some great pics this weekend and have much to report to you come Monday or Tuesday. Have a great one!

veiled insults

i really don’t think it’s cool when people starve themselves in order to become ridiculously and unattractively thin. it’s a mental illness. there is no reason to punish yourself or torture yourself. exercise and eat healthy. starvation is stupidity. don’t be dumb. it’s not cute.

so, i’m on vacation and trying to take care of tons of responsibilites but it’s sorta not going well. baby steps, i guess. there is so much to do and so much time! how to stay focused and organized? i make lists and try to keep them up-to-date. i am so easily distracted.

here i was trying to see how my bathing suit looked and my back, because of my scoliosis, about which i am self-conscious. i always feel like a hideously deformed cripple. i’m not making light of it, either, because this pic doesn’t really show the worst angle and also it does hurt all the time. right at this very moment, even. always.

i’m not comfortable wearing bikinis in general but especially not around family members. i am uber modest like more than anyone i know. walking around at a resort where everyone is half-naked is difficult for me to process. it trips me out that people seem so comfortable with it. i’m working on this issue because i think it is messed-up that i have so many ‘hang-ups’ about it.




i was really enjoying this ensemble i put together and feeling stylish and attractive for once.

made this cole slaw with really just plain yogurt and a little mayo. i was in a hurry. next time i might put forth a little more flavoring effort. it wasn’t bad, tho. i try to stay on the healthy track, but life is hard and sometimes you just want to eat something yummy. so i do. no deprivation, self-punishment crap. life’s too short. or long. haha. i always say that. anyway, i’m at the library and i really need to try to focus on doing something responsible while i’m on the computer…. so more soon, k? :-D

cabin fever

ok friend hi there how are you? Let’s do this. As you may have surmised I went away to a cabin for a week… With my mom my step dad my daughter and myself… That’s redundant, I know. okay whatever bear with me.

so unfortunately my daughter happened to be sick this week as the week that we were going to the cabin she had a cough the whole entire time she had a fever and she slept most of the time she had no appetite and no desire to do anything fun… And for some reason my mom didn’t understand why this would bother me. I tried to just roll with it go with the flow keep a positive attitude but it was annoying and frustrating because the whole reason we went there was to have fun and have a good time and it seems like we were just stuck there being bored and not being able to do anything

does that make me spoiled? That’s what she called me when I said I thought we should just go home. all my mom wanted to do was read books and take naps all day long wearing her pajamas she never wanted to go for any walks or get out in the water or do anything and that’s kind of depressing.

some good times were had I made the best of it we ate a good meal or two actually there was more food than we needed, at all. #firstworldproblems

anyway my mom and I just come from completely different places as far as how we see the world and how we live in it and its always been that way. Once, she asked me where did I come from because I was nothing like her it seemed.

my dad didn’t raise me I only lived with him for a few years at the beginning of my life, but; I was a lot like him anyway even though he didn’t have daily influence on me. Its weird how that works.

anyway even though sometimes things don’t go the way you had hoped or the way you had imagined but that doesn’t mean that all is lost and still something does come out of it always

anyway one of the things you should know if you don’t by now is that the way things look on social media is not always the way they actually are in real life. Real life is almost always a pain in the ass… That’s my world view and I’m sticking to it I know some people who are like constantly positive about everything and I just don’t buy into that. Good for you though if you’re lucky enough to be able to think that everything is marvelous all the time.




so anyway I made some gluten free lasagna for my boyfriend today and it looks like it’s going to be pretty delicious and that’s pretty cool. We should have a pretty nice weekend relaxing together we might go to the drive in tomorrow night, maybe have a little barbecue, get a little bit of Sun. <3

potato salad

<3 <3 <3



we are characters.

those shorts do not do me any favors. bye bye shorts!

i just love ducks.





my phone is constantly dead and full of memory

next week starting tomorrow afternoon I am spending a week away from my boyfriend which I have not done
it’s for a good cause and it’s good but it’s just hard for me and I don’t want to do it
and he is busy tonight which bothers me but this is the first time he’s ever let me stay at his place by myself when he wasn’t here. I’m sitting around on his bed watching old episodes of Three’s Company and eating potato salad that I made

technology sucks

sorry, i was caught with the stupidest expression on my face, so sticker.

lots of boats. speed boats and water-skiers.

look at his purty hair. people always think he is a chick.

this is a cool little old movie theater area. it is not used.

lotsa stuffs.

lesson learned here…. we had some raw chicken in a sealed ziplock bag which apparently wasn’t fully sealed, when the ice melted it got all in the bag and interspersed with everything else in the ice chest so a lot of it could not be used. :-( camping fail.







I had a fabulous time and this was right when I woke up in the morning on the second day.


this photo doesn’t belong right here but oh well. Its not at the proper place in the time line but it works for other reasons. Do not question my artistic vision. ;)


this is the guy who made it all happen <3

first morning campfire and I bought two eggs and we boiled them up

I don’t think I’ve ever been camping with a smartphone before so that was an interesting experience and it actually worked there but I tried to avoid it.. it’s just wrong! (to be on your phone when you’re camping). I’m a phone junkie.
I love eggs so much they’re just so amazing and wonderful and they make you feel so good I love to eat a soft boiled eggs when it’s still

20150606_055012 pretty hot and just a little salt and pepper oh my god that’s the best thing ever.


I’m not allowed to get mad at my boyfriend at all this week because my birthday camping weekend must not be ruined. Just saying.

I am totally addicted to my fake nails now and actually I’m starting to notice that it’s like an acceptable trend… when, you know, it goes through waves, but; it used to be that fake nails were really tacky but no …now cool chicks wear them

at first when I started wearing these fake french nails they seemed too stark but then I cut them a little bit and filed them a little bit and then put two layers of glitter nail polish on then and now their perfs

I’m watching cats right now and let me just say that it’s extremely strange. I think that I will declare that I am no longer a human but a cat and everyone must accept that about me and honor it. Kidding not kidding.

cats rule this planet anyway. well, the internet at least.

but yeah in case you were wondering I have no comment on this whole Jenner family debacle I don’t care about any of it any of them I don’t want to see it I don’t want to know about it. When I was a kid in the late seventies he was just a tennis player or something. The only reason I bring it up is probably because Bruce Jenner watched Cats too many times and it messed with his head. And also who wouldn’t go crazy living around all those Kardashian women? ( not talking about it )

I think we should all just either worry about our daily lives like doing laundry doing dishes taking care of our kids or worry about things that really matter like how a lot of people on this planet don’t have flushing toilets…. Or the whole Gyre problem and the robot thing

if everyone’s talking about it– it’s probably boring and stupid… That’s my rule of thumb.

I made the most delicious beef roast the other day I just cook it on the stove at the lowest possible temperature for a couple few hours and you just put red wine in there nothing else it’s amazing

I had a nice time at the backyard barbecue with my boyfriend’s family yesterday~ I only got snippy one time’ this I consider a success.

but I definitely over ate this weekend– you know week before your period or whatever its hormones if you don’t believe in hormones I don’t know what to tell you because they’re real