do you need your time extended?

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at least i have decent legs, i guess. and my hair is growing out and my bangs are grown out and i have a slightly decent amount of a tan.  at least that. no makeup on in this pic.  i get lazy about the makeup when i have to get up at 6 AM and be to work often by 7:30 AM.  at this particular point in time i only have five days of work left until summer break.  not exactly sure what will happen then, but a change will be nice.

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also cool is that i live a ten minute walk from a beautiful river and cliffs and trees and bike trails and shops and restaurants. i don’t often get a chance to take advantage of it, but… even when i do have more time (like last year) i still didn’t get out in it enough.

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i’ve been so grumpy today. from the get-go. i get tired of driving in all the area traffic day in and day out. ppl drive like butt heads and there are just too many of them and i don’t enjoy driving in the first place. never have.

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this was before i glued little hello kitty style bows on my big toes.
the weather is so weird lately. in the morning it is all cold and gloomy out and windy and then in the afternoon it is hot af. you need a complete change of clothes for when you get off work.

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i’ve been trying to tan my middle. it never sees the light of day, only in my boyfriend’s backyard. so i’ve been putting 50 spf on my arms and legs and chest, and then doing small spurts of sun with shade breaks in between for my middle. i’m not very happy with my current physical condition… people def say i look great for my age and much younger, etc… but i just want my mid-section to look like gwyneth paltrow’s does. of course, she has lots of like money and can go to yoga all day and drink fancy waters and special organic bean sprouts or what-not.

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this chicken is almost gone now. made it last friday. i have one piece of it left. i accidentally forgot my lunch box in the breakroom at work today. i might not be going back to that site any time soon, so i might just have to let it go and call it a loss and move forward with my life. the main thing is the lunchbox was a good size and my favorite ice-y pack thing was in there. :( won’t be too hard to replace, tho. i’ll survive maybe.

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gluten free toast. sorry it’s a blurry pic. a breakfast i made for bf last saturday morning. i have so many dishes to do and laundry and blehhhh. it never ends!!!! it really doesn’t. and i am always exhausted, i think it has a lot to do with my scoliosis… not an excuse, i’m serious.

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and there he is photo-bombing my timed selfie. he’s fun and funny and sweet. that’s his work outfit. i think this was thursday night, yeah… we had fun walking around.

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we were drinking grape juice. mhm. it was a little fermented, i think. ;-)

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i have some pretty bad sun damage on my upper chest. :(

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the wind was actually blowing my dress here. how convenient.

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so yeah. i don’t really have anything earth-shattering to reveal. just doin’ the day-in/day-out thing. trying to stay responsible and squeeze some fun in here and there. rest and solitude are also necessary. family obligations. phewf.

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i put his shirt on in the morning so i could make some breakfast. it was a chilly morning. i made gluten free crepes.

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we are SOOOO looking forward to going camping for my birthday weekend after next. june 6 and 7. the grind has been getting to us both. both of our jobs entail a great deal of managing other people’s behavior for them because they can’t or won’t manage it for themselves. it gets tiresome.

crowd management

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one of the hardest things about having a blog is not being able to write what you really want to write you can’t say what you really think because there’s someone out there who’s going to try and take it and twist it around and turn it against you which is ridiculous

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today was my mom’s birthday so I sent her some flowers which was ridiculously expensive but I had to do it because I didn’t get her anything for mothers day while she was traveling at the time and her anniversary well she was also still traveling at that time so its the least I could do for the 3 holiday month.

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and now a three day weekend is upon us with Memorial Day and I would love to have been able to go camping but I’m not sure if that’s going to be able to happen because we didn’t really make plans for it… It just so happens that the time you want to go camping is also the time that everybody wants to go camping and that makes it much more difficult to do..

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who has time to plan things, right? I need a vacation to plan my vacation and a plan to recover from my vacation

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eventually we supposedly get to retire and that’s when we get to do all the fun stuff but by then we’re too old to have the energy and zest for life to do it or maybe I’m wrong but it still seems screwed up

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one thing is we should be happy with what we have like we could hang out at my boyfriend’s back yard or right around where I live and it would be just as cool and interesting and fun and you don’t have to go driving 2 hours to get there

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he’s on his way over right now and for instance it’s Friday night and we’re both sleepy its been a long day got up early this morning stayed up kind of late last night getting ready for the weekend, right? and now we’re tired on Friday night can’t win for losing

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I got a good deal on some chicken breasts at the grocery store today. looking forward to grilling those up.

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trying to squeeze a blog post in before he gets here I just never have the time and…

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Oops, he’s here.
More blog material to come.

mandated happiness for all!

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Life sure has its ups and downs, doesn’t it? phewf!
but i guess that’s what good about it. you just never know.
so i’m told i look uber hot in this photo.
it’s just one pic. i looked hideous in the other fifteen i took in this same ten minute span of time. haha. if at first you don’t succeed….
fake it til ya make it. that’s my motto!
at least this pic gives me hope that if i try just a little bit harder to get into shape, it might be possible. i’ve often thought how horribly hopeless it must feel to someone who is like a hundred pounds overweight. because no matter how hard you try, you can never stop because if you do… it’s so EASY to go back to being a blob.

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there is hope. these pics give me hope. i won’t show you the ones that hurl me into a sinking pit of despair! haha. they aren’t that bad, tho. i just don’t like certain angles and lightings. yeah, that’s it. but my true goal is strength training more than anything. you build big butt muscles and arm muscles and thigh muscles and you can eat more food! which is my true joy in life.

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i have that one dot of cellulite which i have had since i was 18. i was mortified the first time i saw it in a photo. and that swimsuit is a size 8 which is ridiculous. i do not wear a size 8. it’s actually small but it’s not uncomfortable. normally i wear XL or 12. full disclosure. anyway, next time you see me in a swimsuit, it won’t be this one. this one is played out. :-) it has boring mom-butt, anyhow.

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last weekend, bf took me out to breakfast. we like this little diner because it has lots of old peeps to people watch. but we can’t eat there anymore because they use grill shortening (which most diners do) and bf is allergic to it because it has wheat in it. stupid wheat. it’s everywhere. anyway, the food is nothing to write home about as you can see in this blurry pic.

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this was an afternoon when we went on a stroll by the river. i told bf that normally i don’t go out dressed like this (no bra, short cotton shorts) because i am too sexy and people can’t handle it. he kept teasing me about that. it is/was funny and is now one of the jokes in his repertoire. he wants to do stand up. i think that is a great idea.

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thursday thru n thru

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Hello haters,
today was a really good day!
i got enough sleep last night, for a change. my cold is gone, finally and it was an easy fun day at work with free lunch! wish every day could be like that!

face
right now I’m going to paint my toenails I think I’ll do a coppertoe. “briny breeze bronze” it’s called. maybe I’ll do my fingernails, too. It’s a nice dense solid metallic and kind of matches my hair

frg
okay, that saved as a gif accidentally. oh well. i guess it works.

red
capital today, at the store I bought eggs, avocados, buttermilk and wine. all the Staples right?

nac
well, teacher appreciation week is nearly over tomorrow. Parentheses TGIF parentheses fun living in the reflected glory while it lasted…

hjnn
soon it will be summer vacation. S whole different can of worms. I’m really looking forward to camping and backpacking. need to start getting equipment. Cooking breakfast over a morning campfire, hot coals left also from the night before. I’m always an early riser. I’m up with the sun on no matter what. & I don’t like naps, but I’ll take a power nap out of necessity with my alarm set.

chx
life can be as rich as you allow it to be.

jean
today was a decent day everything went well it was easy I wasn’t bored or maybe just for a tiny bit but mostly no I was not bored and it was just a delight all around I wish everyday could be like that.

hrt
I found this on the fence of the theater near my house when I was on a walk. pretty cool, eh?

nhhh
my boyfriend is a musician and he’s like the best kind in a lot of ways because he really does it because he values have to seeing and doing his best and memorization and repetition and he doesn’t give up and that’s really cool and everything but sometimes it gets on my nerves because he is very dedicated and busy when I don’t want him to be busy and I do not have that same dedication in my life. I have created a DD and even though I’m trying I want to do creative stuff I don’t have the discipline that he has same thing goes with physical activity I don’t have the discipline that other people have what it takes to make you be successful. I’ve always lacked ambition and motivation

sea
I’ve been having cool dreams lately very interesting dreams and I attributed it to getting a good amount of sleep which is extremely important
grn
it’s also very very important to make sure that you’re well hydrated which is not always easy to do because we live extremely busy lives with very little free time to even think for ourselves for 5 minutes

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the joy of starting my period will soon be upon us. Well, it’s either that or menopause.

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today was rainy and mild in temperature and easy and fun and good and I’m happy thank you the end talk to you soon ttyl bye bye

inside and out

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long time no blog.
it’s finally friday, tho. yay! yippee!
i’ve got stuff to do now!
but i’m making the time to write a blogpost for all my non-readers out there! because nobody wants to do puzzles with me. wahhhhhh.

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whatever. it is what it is, right? that’s what they say.
so yeah. if you follow my twitter @omnamaste you can see the recent continuance of the never-ending internet battle saga which goes on
between me and some other person who shall not be named. we have an anonymous battle.

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she says i am a slut-shaming hag and a prude. that’s not true. it really isn’t. i am not someone who thinks sexuality is bad or wrong. i just think there is appropriate/good judgment and then bad/inappropriate. there has to be some kind of boundaries, privacy… personalization, etc. i don’t want my mom and my son looking at me naked. i mean. maybe if like a famous artist painted a nude portrait of me, then maybe that would be more comfy for me to deal with but…

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i dunno. i have opinions. i have thoughts of my own. i express them. i am definitely not attacking anyone. i am being attacked. that is for sure, tho! the stuff this person says about me is just wrong. totally inaccurate lies and bullshiznit.

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she has always mis-characterized me and mistreated me and i have not deserved it. i’m not perfect. my body isn’t perfect. i am not ‘shaming’ anyone. we all have a right to our own self expression and self exploration… but i am being accused have lacking compassion because this person says she is going thru a massive family crisis and trying to deal with it by i guess posting naked pics of herself on her twitter account? i don’t get it but to me i don’t see her audience perceiving it as art. i see a bunch of dudes drooling and saying ‘more more more’ which to me equals porn.

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i guess i just feel like this person has more to offer and is cheapening herself. so now, i am doing it too!. no, actually, i am showing that you can show pics of yourself that are maybe less clothed but are not intended to arouse anyone. i am not looking for men to drool on me. no thank you.

choices

beachy
when your life starts to feel stagnant at any point in time the best thing you can do is do something different than what you normally do on a daily basis so doing the same thing everyday is like a death sentence you can’t do it I’m a very, I like routine to a certain extent but… If you don’t switch things up once in awhile you’re just going to feel entrapped by your own life and its all up to you what you do you want to make a difference in your own life.

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life isn’t always easy just ask the IBEX I mean it’s a constant struggle for survival in one way or another humans are a complicated species we have really intricate emotions and social lives

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I recently watched interstellar and it took me several watchings to even be able to stay focused long enough to understand what was going on. Matthew McConaughey is an awesome actor by the way… It brought up a lot of questions it was mostly about time travel but a lot of questions about you know what are humans for in the first place why do we have emotions?

Untitled
people are always going on and on about how we create our own reality with our thoughts do we do that and if so why and wow and scary. But at the same time it’s pretty awesome because you’re here in this like virtual reality of some sort and you can manipulate it and impacted by making choices. If you honestly don’t like the way things are going in the outcomes you’re experiencing you do have the power to change your actions and it will change the results.

foo
I don’t think we’re meant to be victims and maybe we learn to be victims at some point in our lives from older family members or whatever like it’s some kind of tradition and certain cultures to think of yourself as a victim of your life but you really aren’t. Everything that you decide to think affects what you decide to do and what you decide to do if affects what you experienced. On some level we all know this.

sal
we all experience disappointments setbacks etc it’s part of life it just is I don’t know why I can’t tell you why but sometimes it’s for the best. If we never experienced that box if we always got everything that we wanted the first time what whatever motivate us to try harder I personally am not a very ambitious person I don’t have lofty goals for myself I don’t want a lot of material possessions or any type of outward signs of success… So what’s going to be my motivator? I don’t even really believe in happiness because I believe in impermanence which is the reason that we all suffer I don’t believe that we’re here to always be happy. Buddhism says that yes we deserve happiness… idk. It gets confusing

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and I just spilled a miniscule drop of red wine on my lovely beautiful gap ribbed tank yellow and white stripes. See? It’s always something.

sea
I’m not really an optimist I consider myself to be a realist I think people who are overly optimistic are naive imbeciles personally but ok you know no judging I just think that it’s a pollyannaish attitude to always say that we can, we need, to always be happy no matter what our circumstances are but then again you know people who lived in concentration camps were capable of being happy it’s all in how you choose to look at things and has a lot to do with the type of life force that you have.

me
I live with chronic pain and I don’t really take responsibility for that because it was a congenital disorder or whatever I was born with it it’s something that happened to my spine my spine is totally crooked and it hurts it hurts. that pain is real.

sho
not everything is in my control. other people’s actions are not always in my control and just because other people’s actions might be unpleasant to me doesn’t mean that I can ignore it and stick my head up in the clouds and pretend like everything is made out of rainbows. The solution is more in depth than that. That’s an oversimplification.

hai
all I know is that I am here and that gives me the right to live.

private eyes are watching you

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This is a picture from a time when i was enjoying my “boring” weekend, as queen of the trolls (from my point of view) puts it. it’s an internet thing… you wouldn’t understand… but of course you would. you’re ON the internet right NOW! silly me.

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and it’s already Friday again! more “boring weekend” time to enjoy for me!

i wish i could have non-boring weekends. no i don’t. yes i do.

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whatever. it’s my life, internet hater troll person. i do not understand the problem. apparently it is my fault because i tweet my opinions without naming names and you (troll) decide to read my tweets and get ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE saying i am stalking and harrassing you. it’s bullcrap. as i’ve always said, you have always been crueler, meaner and nastier to me than i have ever been to you: fact. which is why i despise you, bottom line.

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it really gets old but it is like life…. unrelenting. ha.
anyway, look at this awesome geology and my cool sandals and my beach-themed toenails which now need to be changed since it’s been a week.

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it’s a big deal to me. nobody else gives a rats poo about it except the other biznatch involved, i guess.
i just feel misunderstood and have from the get-go and i think that my original assessment of this person has held true the entire time. sorry charlie if you don’t like it.

there is this sitting next to me guy at the library who is very strange. he is like special ed, i guess. it’s kinda obnoxious.
it’s like, why do you have to sit by ME??

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so yeah, my boyfriend and i went to visit his dad and his stepmom and we went to santa cruz for dinner and walked around a bit, then he and i spent the night in a hotel and spend a few hours the next day walking around this cool place where he used to always hang out and play when he was growing up.

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my allotted time for internetting at la biblioteca has ended. must be moving on. more stuffs to do.

i’ll have to get back to you soon. :-)