haven’t you noticed?


omg, seriously WHO has time for internet bullshit?  Forums?  So tedious to sort through.  People who are actively text messaging me on my phone barely even read my responses as it is!  Let alone strangers on internet forums who are obsessively poring over every detail of every idiotic post and trying to figure out what the HELL everyone is even TALKING ABOUT! argh!

What is even the point of trying to communicate with anyone?  NObody listens or cares.

social media is dead.



So, hey.

Bout dat single lyfe.


I cook a pot of food and have to eat it until it is finished.  most recently, I made some penne pasta with ground beef and marinara sauce topped with sprinkled mozz and will be finished with it today.  it wasn’t even that good.  Pasta is stupid and pointless.  I am always still hungry after I eat it.


The people who are famous on the internet now…. wow, well there are so many that it actually means little to anyone except for specific niches. Internet fame is a flash in the pan. You are of the moment for but a moment.  Then it is someone new.


i think this pic was in my previous blog post but it was the instagram version.

anyway, I am a has-been but also a never-was but I am just me.  A person. typing into the void.

Documenting whatever this is– my life.

what else is there to do?  life is weird, boring, repetitive. never-ending and short.

How do we all fill the time?

Never enough but always too much.


it may all be a bunch of bullshit in the end.  but wouldn’t it be cool if something real ever did come out of it all?  Out of any of it?

I am burnt out on everything.









back again


Hidey Ho, Neighbors!


I am sure that you do not come here to read my tarot readings, but that is what I feel like typing about…. so.  #sorrynotsorry ?



Okay, so here we go.

Here is the layout.


sorry, blurry.  need new phone and also whatever.


Significator: 3 of Pentacles

An overall good omen that one is doing well, in general.  K. Cool.

Recent Past: (Reversed) 5 of Clubs/Wands also The Devil

All or nothing thinking is damaging. I am the only person who is exactly like me. “Don’t participate in ego struggles brought on by the comparison game. There is no need to struggle or prove something to others who are obviously wounded. It’s time to keep your eyes on your own paper. Be at peace with wherever you are at.”  The “Get out of Hell Free” card.  “Free yourself from your inner saboteur”  Remove the chains of negative thinking which are keeping you bound.  Same message in two cards, both in the past.  YEP.

[Wow, this is spot on, btw]

More Distant Past: (Reversed) 4 of Clubs/Wands

“What is preventing you from giving yourself the gift of joy?”  Allow yourself to enjoy life without judging yourself.

Subconscious undercurrent7 of Spades and The Chariot

Live what you know and follow your intuitive guidance.  Continue to envision unobstructed success.  “sometimes you need to put your own needs and priorities first, even if others may not agree with you or understand where you are coming from.”

“Look upon the movements of change as full of promise and adventure.”

The Sky (Overall situation or feeling of the reading/ Conscious situation):

(R) 5 Spades

Pace yourself.  Don’t burn out. Finish your task gradually.  Take control of your time.

“This job is not nearly as overwhelming as the other big trials you’ve faced in life. You got this!”

The Challenge: (Reversed) 8 of Spades and Justice

“The blindfold is coming off, allowing you to see yourself, with clear perspective.”

“You are free whenever you choose to be.”

“Regain your balance and all will become clear.”

Hopes and Fears: (Reversed 5 of Hearts/Cups)

Shit happens.  Move on!

Focus on what can go right from this point onwards.

An influential person in my space: Queen of Wands

“Have Courage and be who you are!!” without apology.

Outcome: 8 of wands, Queen of Hearts, Knight of Cups (Hearts)

An unexpected and happily received love message.  Could be on social media.

Honor your feelings because they give life its color and complexity! The Universe wants to please!

“Communication about feelings heals isolation and confusion. The more difficult the subject, the more healing to be gained from talking about it. However, you have to be brave enough to open up with others.”


Amazing reading!!!  Thank you!

I feel like this is a great message and makes a lot of sense to me with regard to what is going on in my life right now, today!







Happy 2019!


Haven’t blogged in over a month, so I have quite a backlog of photos on my phone.

Not that anyone cares! heh.

Only a few more days left of (unpaid) vacation.  Then it is back to work.  Keeps me outta trouble.  For which I seem to be a magnet, somehow.


Hey, today’s Tarot reading!!!

Significator: Death.

A necessary part of moving forward.  End of something, leading to new beginnings and a positive transformation.  The challenge of old ideas.

Immediate Influences:  3 of Wands.

Look for new allies.  You may receive ideas for a new project.  Act on it without delay.

Recent Influences:  9 of Cups.

A powerful positive indicator.  A symbol of comfort and happiness.  Soul must recapture peace.

Recent Event which is coming to an end: King of Pentacles

You recently received some good advice which will, if followed, put your affairs on sounder footing for the future.

Goals and Destiny: 8 of Swords

A symbol of imprisonment.  A difficult situation from which there is no escape due to mutually conflicting conditions.  Restriction and hesitation at every turn.  Approach the situation with patience and be ready to move when the situation changes.  Admit your past mistakes to yourself and embrace them as part of what you are.

Future:  The Fool

New beginnings and an end to something in my old life.  Important decisions ahead which may not be easy to make and involve an element of risk for me.  A new influence will soon be brought to bear in my life.  In order to achieve success, you will have to be adventurous.

ME: 6 of swords

The worst is over.  A new friend will have an impact on my life.  (A visitor from overseas?)

Friends and Family: 6 of wands

Self-confidence and victory or success.  A portent of good news and a gentle reminder to be humble with your success.  A valuable ally will lend me support. Not entirely without strings but will help me greatly in pursuit of my desires.

Hopes, Fears and Ideals: 4 of Pentacles

Maybe thru an inheritance, you are on your way to financial security and satisfied contentment.  A substantial gift will be received.

Final Outcome:  Queen of Swords

A mature, receptive woman, Sharp-witted and professionally distant aid and counsel.  Trust this person.  She will take an interest in you.  Respect her intelligence and you will be rewarded with peerless guidance.  Your spirit is a strong one.  You will triumph over loss and deprivation.


One of the things which sucks about the town in which I currently reside is that in the summer it is hotter than an oven and in the winter it is cold as an icebox.  wth?

it is so stupid.

I really would like it if I could just live in a more reasonably mild climate.  Come on, now!

Also?  I am sorry to have to say this but I now seriously am pretty sure that I hate all men.  I have had waaaaaayyyyyyy more negative relationships with men than I have positive and my experience has left me jaded.  Maybe it is just me?  I don’t know, but it is sad. Turns out my Grandmother was right all along when she warned me to never trust a man.


Petrified wood…. apparently it isn’t all that valuable.

No metaphor intended…. but accidental metaphors do happen.  Maybe everything has meaning.  I am sure it can and could and does if we want it to.




one thing i can say

my life could not be described as boring.


probably it is too not boring and needs to become more boring again.  i don’t do well with a lot of stimulus.

keep it chill, keep it simple.  that needs to be my motto.

focus on self care BIG TIME!

i have been spending too much time, energy etc on someone else, to my own detriment, unfortch.


women who give too much?  i’m the poster child.

they say narcissists are drawn to empaths and vice versa.

i KNOW that i am too giving.  don’t even question it!

welp, time to get back to working on these things.  this has been a stressful year.


my happiness has got to be my absolute main priority until i can get things a bit more sorted out.  ME ME ME!

hey, so last night i watched a movie which sucked.  it was Incantation

i will be watching Ready Player One this eve.

ta ta

did you get the message?


living in a world where i look forward to friday and also know how super short the weekends are but i really need to keep raking in the dough to achieve my goals.

my job itself is easy as long as i choose for it to be.  by now, i’ve figured out how to do that.  usually it is a decent use of my time which frequently i would probably only waste, anyhow.

i have an idea for an upcoming art project, i just need to implement it.  i’ve been so caught up in other people’s junk that a lot of my own stuff has been left unattended to…..

used up so much of my time.  i need a lot of time.  my friend thinks i am too obsessive about time…. which i am.  always have been that way.  i remember being a kid and always asking my mom what time it was.  she would jokingly ask, “You have somewhere you need to be?” No, I just need to know! haha

I like to measure how long it takes to do things.


These days are a little annoying because it is cold when you leave the house and hot as blazes when you get off work.  I don’t spend a lot of time planning out my outfits because I am distracted and neglectful.


i was so excited to see this slug and capture a photo of it and later that evening i saw that he had somehow been squashed into great green globs of greasy grimy smithereens.  aw.

not sure how that happened.  i probably stepped on it.

do you remember putting salt on slugs and snails ever in your life?  i used to think it was so fun when i was a kid.

i would not think it is so fun now.  but snails can be annoying.


today, all i had for lunch was zucchini.

i was going to eat a can of sardines i had brought with me but i got too shy about opening up a can of sardines in the teacher lounge.


baa baa black sheep


what is that on my chin!?!?!?


so, recently my experiences have led me to conclude that I have been correct all along in avoiding people!!!  People are nothing but trouble, I have to say!

Drama and b.s. all around.

Being alone is a blessing!


i was gonna take tomorrow off but i ended up accepting an assignment.

am i a workaholic?


i want time off but i also need to save up as much money as i can.

because i want to change my living situation and argh

there is a second job i am thinking about applying for.

substitute teaching is not enough money to live due to all of the holidays and vacations which are unpaid.


hey, so um

i was recently called out for “complaining about my job on social media” when really all i said was it was a boring day.  There is a lot more to it than that, but a lot of it is sensitive information which I am actually smart enough to not lay out on a public forum.


and of course, I was accused of being a boring person because only boring people get bored.

Oh, believe me, I found ways to keep myself occupied.  I already mentioned this on twitter, I was reading the intro to Oliver Twist talking about Dickens… his age when he wrote the book and a bunch of background stuff which I found fascinating.  Dickens was a heavy Opium user, as were many in his day.

my ratchet blog


hey. this photo is from over a month ago, bro.

i had just had a crazy free haircut.

i am happy that my hair has grown out a bit since then and i hope it looks better now.




i have an old friend coming to visit me tomorrow on his way up to a new job he got for the winter.  woot.

it has been a few years since i’ve seen him.  maybe six years.

we met when we were 16.

i am sure you will get a photo of us together for the record.


it is purely platonic.  don’t get any idears.

but it will be nice.  maybe keep me out of trouble for a second.



i am working tomorrow before i go pick him up in sacramento.  unless he grabs a train to folsom, which would be easier for me.  we will see how it all turns out.

nice to have a little diversion.

that’s about it for now.  i got two movies from redbox to watch this evening.