one thing i can say

my life could not be described as boring.

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probably it is too not boring and needs to become more boring again.  i don’t do well with a lot of stimulus.

keep it chill, keep it simple.  that needs to be my motto.

focus on self care BIG TIME!

i have been spending too much time, energy etc on someone else, to my own detriment, unfortch.

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women who give too much?  i’m the poster child.

they say narcissists are drawn to empaths and vice versa.

i KNOW that i am too giving.  don’t even question it!

welp, time to get back to working on these things.  this has been a stressful year.

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my happiness has got to be my absolute main priority until i can get things a bit more sorted out.  ME ME ME!

hey, so last night i watched a movie which sucked.  it was Incantation

i will be watching Ready Player One this eve.

ta ta

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did you get the message?

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living in a world where i look forward to friday and also know how super short the weekends are but i really need to keep raking in the dough to achieve my goals.

my job itself is easy as long as i choose for it to be.  by now, i’ve figured out how to do that.  usually it is a decent use of my time which frequently i would probably only waste, anyhow.

i have an idea for an upcoming art project, i just need to implement it.  i’ve been so caught up in other people’s junk that a lot of my own stuff has been left unattended to…..

used up so much of my time.  i need a lot of time.  my friend thinks i am too obsessive about time…. which i am.  always have been that way.  i remember being a kid and always asking my mom what time it was.  she would jokingly ask, “You have somewhere you need to be?” No, I just need to know! haha

I like to measure how long it takes to do things.

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These days are a little annoying because it is cold when you leave the house and hot as blazes when you get off work.  I don’t spend a lot of time planning out my outfits because I am distracted and neglectful.

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i was so excited to see this slug and capture a photo of it and later that evening i saw that he had somehow been squashed into great green globs of greasy grimy smithereens.  aw.

not sure how that happened.  i probably stepped on it.

do you remember putting salt on slugs and snails ever in your life?  i used to think it was so fun when i was a kid.

i would not think it is so fun now.  but snails can be annoying.

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today, all i had for lunch was zucchini.

i was going to eat a can of sardines i had brought with me but i got too shy about opening up a can of sardines in the teacher lounge.

 

baa baa black sheep

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what is that on my chin!?!?!?

haha

so, recently my experiences have led me to conclude that I have been correct all along in avoiding people!!!  People are nothing but trouble, I have to say!

Drama and b.s. all around.

Being alone is a blessing!

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i was gonna take tomorrow off but i ended up accepting an assignment.

am i a workaholic?

no.

i want time off but i also need to save up as much money as i can.

because i want to change my living situation and argh

there is a second job i am thinking about applying for.

substitute teaching is not enough money to live due to all of the holidays and vacations which are unpaid.

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hey, so um

i was recently called out for “complaining about my job on social media” when really all i said was it was a boring day.  There is a lot more to it than that, but a lot of it is sensitive information which I am actually smart enough to not lay out on a public forum.

DUH.

and of course, I was accused of being a boring person because only boring people get bored.

Oh, believe me, I found ways to keep myself occupied.  I already mentioned this on twitter, I was reading the intro to Oliver Twist talking about Dickens… his age when he wrote the book and a bunch of background stuff which I found fascinating.  Dickens was a heavy Opium user, as were many in his day.

my ratchet blog

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hey. this photo is from over a month ago, bro.

i had just had a crazy free haircut.

i am happy that my hair has grown out a bit since then and i hope it looks better now.

 

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k,

i have an old friend coming to visit me tomorrow on his way up to a new job he got for the winter.  woot.

it has been a few years since i’ve seen him.  maybe six years.

we met when we were 16.

i am sure you will get a photo of us together for the record.

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it is purely platonic.  don’t get any idears.

but it will be nice.  maybe keep me out of trouble for a second.

 

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i am working tomorrow before i go pick him up in sacramento.  unless he grabs a train to folsom, which would be easier for me.  we will see how it all turns out.

nice to have a little diversion.

that’s about it for now.  i got two movies from redbox to watch this evening.

ttyl

friYAY

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ok, i hate my new bf now.  haha.  ex!

i admit i spent too much time with him.  i still find him attractive for some whatever reason but can’t deal with him anymore! at least not the way it was.

it’s ok.  i am happy being on my own.

too bad we can’t force the person we are attracted to to behave the way we would like at all times.  need a robot!

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also, it was summer and i had too much time on my hands and it was too hot.  i needed something to do.  now, i need to work and chill.  he is not a ‘chill’ person.

back to the ol’ drawing board.

i spent so much time away from the computer and the social media but now i am back to having more time to annoy the internet!

yay!

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i was happy for a few weeks!

impermanence!

hasta la vista!

reading for my mom

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my mom asked me to do a reading for her.  This is it.  It has been about a month since I did it but I still wanted to go back and more thoroughly research each card.

SignificatorJack of Spades.   (aka Page of Swords)

page

Recent Past: 6 of Spades

This card almost always indicates travel.

More Distant Past: Q of Diamonds

A codependent mother. 🙂

A natural homemaker.

Near Future: 8 of Spades (Reversed)

8sw

More Distant Future: 4 Spades (Reversed)

ber

Undercurrent of Reading: 3 of Cups

3cup

Sky: 5 cups (Reversed)

jkkkkk

Incoming from Universe: 6 of Cups

resa

Self Concept: King of Wands

kwan

Hopes and Fears: 2 of Cups

2c

House: Q of Wands

who is in your space or influencing this situation?

qwa

Outcome/Resolution: Jack of Hearts, 4 of Diamonds (reversed) and The Fool

dowd

bled

fool

 

 

 

 

tarot reading at the cabin

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sadly, i did not get a better capture of this spread, so this one will have to suffice.

Significator: 3 of Diamonds (Pentacles)

3p

Recent Past: King of Spades also The Emperor

ks

Usually the Court cards will represent a person…. So, the King of Spades in my recent past may be about someone with whom I have recently been involved.

The Emperor aspect of this card will most likely also be applied to this person in my recent past.

em

More Distant Past: 8 of Clubs

8w

Near Future: 9 of Clubs also The Sun

9w

sun

More Distant Future: Six of Pentacles

This card often indicates codependence.

6d

Root: 6 Hearts (reversed) and The Lovers (reversed)

6c

lo

Sky: 2 of Diamonds (Reversed) and High Priestess (Reversed)

2d

hp

How I see myself: 4 of Clubs

4c

Hopes and Fears: 8 of Diamonds

8p

Who or What is Influencing me: 5 of Wands and The Devil

5w

dev

Outcome: 3 Cups, 9 Cups, Q Clubs

Possibly and engagement party.  Indulgence.

qc