Category: Uncategorized

maybe it’s time to come home


this is one of my favorite places in Placerville, CA

The Cary House Hotel.

Supposed to be haunted, which the link discusses.  I want to stay there sometime.  I plan to…


So, because I have a lot of free time, currently no income and it is super hot…. this has led to me hanging around places where there are a lot of homeless people.  This town actually has a lot of homeless people and a fair amount of assistance for them, but still not enough.  I love to try to help people and then I end up getting to know and like some of them but the people are often tied up in problematic behaviors which are beyond my ability to fix and also could get me into trouble.  So, it is very important for me to maintain my boundaries and make sure that their choices don’t end up having a negative impact on my life.  Sometimes just being associated with someone whom the authorities see in a negative light can reflect poorly on someone who isn’t actually participating in those undesirable behaviors.


So, having a job can keep one out of trouble!

That is a good life lesson!

I have been putting those birkenstocks thru heck!  They are getting ruined.

Next time, I think I will get the original style of birks.

So anyway, this morning I searched thru my cupboards for some things I don’t want (food items) and took them to the library park area and gave them to a homeless guy.

Another homeless guy was sitting inside the grocery store cafe and I bought him a water and gave him the receipt too so he could sit there in the air conditioning and not be accused of loitering for a while at least.  A lot of the homeless people are legit mentally ill.  Some of that comes from doing bad drugs probably out of boredom because they can’t afford to live a normal life.  A complex problem.  Not sure exactly what needs to be done or what can be done.

Yes, one can volunteer at a soup kitchen or the like, but that doesn’t solve much.  It only ameliorates the problem.


well folks.  that is about all i have to say for the moment.

have a good one!



Tarot Reading 7/12/2018


Significator: J of ♦ <—-this link has a TON of info. I do this for my own reference.  I doubt that anyone ever really reads too far into these posts because it really is only supposedly applying to me…. so unless you are just super into tarot….  Really the link provided here for Knight of Pentacles (Jack of Diamonds) is the most in-depth a person could probably get on every angle of this card.

Near Future: 8 of ♦

Might signify a time in ones life when things seem mechanical and monotonous.

True dat!

More Distant Future10 of Swords

Oh great.  This one is not fortuitous. Hitting rock bottom.  That is wonderful!!! not.

Recent Past: 2 of Hearts (Reversed)


More Distant Past: 4 Cups (Reversed)


Subconscious: Knight of Swords


Root: 9 of Pentacles


Sky: Ace of Pentacles


Universe is Sending in: Ace of Hearts


How I See Myself: Queen of Cups


Hopes and Fears: 2 of Pentacles and High Priestess (Reversed)



Who or What is Influencing me? The Fool


Outcome: 3 Pentacles, 7 Pentacles, The Star, 2 of Swords, The Hanged Man




Two of Swords








everybody do your share


Me Again!

Hey, guess what?  School year starts Aug 6th.  That’s good.  very good.

It will be good to have an income.

Look at how grey my feet look in the above foto.  (and legs)  it is b.s.

Not accurate.  I have a tan.


stupid camera on my phone.


a greasy breakfast from a week ago.  Bacon is not something I really support.  Yes, it is delicious.  But factory farming of pigs is an atrocity.  My goal is to mostly not eat factory farmed animals, especially pigs.  This bacon was not pig-friendly bacon.


maybe my legs look dun because i needed lotion.  that is probably part of it.


when i took this photo, it was because lately, since I don’t have to work and it is so hot, i have not been putting any effort into my appearance, hair/makeup so when I do, it is necessary to capture it for some public consumption.  Otherwise, I mostly don’t feel the need to go thru all of that effort just for myself.  Some women do it all just for their own feeling “good” but honestly, if no one is looking…. it is a little hard for me to justify it.


not necessarily the most attractive photo here of my oven-roasted zucchini and garlic, but it was delicious.  Roasted vegetables are so good.  worth it.


mac n cheese is one of those horrible late-night decisions

i have the worst habit of wanting to eat right before bed.  it is not good and has definitely contributed to some weight gain over the past few years.  To be honest with you, I think some of it is going to bed alone… it feels comforting to have a full belly.

Anyway, I try not to allow myself to do this very often anymore as much as I can avoid it.


my toenail polish is a metallic olive green.  i like it but it isn’t really showing well in this pic.

alright well.  thanks for checking in on my blog, friends!


“i hate going to fun stuff”


Hey, I’m back.  How’s life?

I was just sitting outside the library for the past 40 minutes chatting with a guy.  It was a pleasant conversation, he was much calmer than the last time I spoke with him when he was a bit hyped up.

The conversation ended because he went to go smoke a cigarette and check his phone and I needed to come into the library to do a blog post about nothing.

I feel like I didn’t have closure.  Ha ha.  Usually that is okay, it’s just that I am pretty bored lately.


another squinty shaded eye pic.  weeee.  yesterday i went to this little lake, a man-made shallow boring lake.  the water wasn’t even cold.

it will be more fun next time i go because i will take my daughter and she will have fun swimming in the pool part.


sorry.  i did this just to be obnoxious because that is how i roll, apparently.

my apologies.


this pic is kinda nice, eh?

i dunno if all of this heading to the water for a swim stuff is sustainable for the next two whole months, tho!  entropy and all.


there is a nice smiley portrait for ya.

me me me me me



and not only that but i am boring because I really have nothing to say.

This morning, I left home and realized afterward that I had forgotten to apply deodorant to my pits.  I had some random avon roll-on deodorant in my car and put it on and i hated the smell of it so much i actually stopped at a mcdonalds just to throw the deodorant in the trash can.  Yuck! so gross.  Now i need to go home and wash that nastiness off!  Would I rather have b.o. or smell like gross perfume?  not sure.


this is from the other day when i went searching for somewhere cool to check out nature.  i found a nice spot.  it is hard to find good spots to hang out in nature where you can kinda be alone and not worry about where you parked and not have to pay to get in only to be around a bunch of other people.





ugh. how many times can I say I hate summer? I keep trying to play mental games with myself such as imagining it is freezing cold outside and how great the warmth feels.  it is simply a fact, however, that we are cooking.  being cooked.

There are many escapes but all are temporary.


that is a horrible photo but that is what photo I have.  sorrys.  too many shadows on the eyes, so you get the fake aviators.


at least it is cool at the library… even so, I have trouble hanging out here.  I get antsy and wanna go home.  I will try to prolong the stay but it’s a challenge for me.  I prioritize solitude and the convenience of all my stuff being with me (at home).

Do you ever wonder why I take so many photos of myself?

Who the hell knows.

Some of it is to see how I look in certain outfits.  To decide if I should keep it or not and to also figure out what I need to do…. which it seems pretty obvious to me my arms need muscles.


well, friends.  something has come up and I am gonna have to cut this library visit short!!!

Maybe I will come back later.

Hasta la pasta!





Continue reading

all the stars explode tonight



Yesterday was The Fourth of July.  I don’t really ‘support’ that because it’s a bunch of b.s.

I did go to a parade at a community church up in the mountains.  It was low-key and chill.  A lady there took me under her wing and bought me a tri-tip sandwich plate.  So nice.  I listened to her talk while we ate together.  Then we went and watched the parade.  Simple and easy.  Nice weather.  Then I went home and relaxed.

My neighbor asked me if I wanted to join her to watch the fireworks over the fairgrounds but I didn’t feel like it.  I can just remember the times when I was a kid and we went out and had a picnic under the fireworks and I would lie on a blanket and enjoy the feeling that they were coming down above me.  Also, there are a billion videos of everyone’s fireworks on Instagram, so vicarious enjoyment is abundant.


I have this dress and I was considering getting rid of it but it still looks good.  The material is not comfortable, tho.  I would only wear it for the right occasion, like maybe a hot date.


I have about a month and a half until school starts back up.  Trying to figure out how to fill the days.  Options and opportunities are truly endless but I want to focus in on what suits ME.  Who am I and how do I want to express my energy?  How do I choose to focus my life force?  Definitely I have been working on eating as healthfully as I can.  Increasing my muscle mass on my arms and butt are huge goals of mine.  I do a little bit each day.  I want my habits to develop slowly and be sustainable for the rest of my life.


Roasted carrots are really delicious.  Sweet potato toasts are awesome.  Vegetables are actually really good and the best part is how nicely they come out the other end!!! TMI!? haha

tarot reading for today


When I did this reading, I was in a bad mood.  I am on edge today, due to hormones.

Significator 7 ♥ (Reversed) “Take Action”


Recent Past: A ♠ (Reversed)  “Take Action”


More Distant Past: 4 ♦ (Reversed)  “You don’t need all that stuff”


Near Future: 5 ♣ (Reversed) and The Devil (Reversed)



More Distant Future: 8 ♣ (Reversed)


Gee, that is a great card for the distant future, something to look forward to! 😉  just kidding.

The Root / Unconscious Influences: 2 ♦ (Reversed) and High Priestess (Reversed)

“Life is unpredictable. Take it in stride!”



Self Concept: 4 ♠ and Death



Hopes and Fears: The Sun and 9 ♣


Don’t give up.  Patience and perseverance will save the day.

Person or Group who is impacting the situationJ of ♠

A charismatic con man!?

I can think of whom this might be. haha

Sky (conscious self, personality): Q ♥ and The Empress


Lots of good info on The Empress here, also.

Energy the Universe is sending in: 3 ♣

Outcome: K ♥K ♣ and Magician, and 3 ♥


omg , once again, that was exhausting!  another hour and thirty minutes to compose this post!  whewf!

here is a pic of me at the meditation group.  I hate the way I look!  ugghghghhshghashga;lskjg


that shirt makes me look huge.  it is too smock-y.  bye bye shirt!