Whenever I talk about someone else, I am really talking about myself.
K? Does that make sense? Sometimes people think I am talking about the other person. Nope. I am talking about ME!!!!!
My reaction to the other person and my thoughts about them are expressions of myself. In fact, I really think this is the case with everyone. Whatever someone is talking about is an expression about their own self.
And on my blog I am talking to myself about myself. Pretty much same with twitter because nobody ever responds. This is just my thoughts. It’s an online journal. A form of self-expression.
my friend took this pic and i am so awkward when people are taking my photo. I hate how un-skinny i am. But, i am posting it because this is me. So eff it. I am working on doing arm weights and stair- stepping. Also trying to limit wine consumption and eat more vegetables.
here is a pic of me with my kinda grumpy sun-in-my-eyes face.
ok. so Back to talking about things.
Everyone tells me I should just ignore Raymi Lauren White. They always ask me dumb things like, “why don’t you just block her?”
ugh. We both have each other blocked, bro. Public forums are accessible to anyone, tho. It isn’t that hard.
People say, “Well, just stop looking at her stuff, why do you look at it?”
Maybe it is because I know she is looking at my stuff and that she will say something mean about it and people I know follow her, including my treacherous sister.
I am aware that she is an energy vampire. I work to protect myself. It is a battle.
The things she says about me are really about her and my reaction to it is about me. Can I be at peace even though someone hates me and tries to misrepresent me and my life in the most negative light possible and is a hypocrite herself? Can I keep my energy balanced and continue working on myself and processing the hate directed toward me, transmute it into something positive for my own life?
Well. I am processing it. And I am going to continue to do so because I believe it helps me to grow as a person. Nobody else cares or understands. They think it is a simple matter of just forgetting the whole thing.
I look at it as an injustice and I want to fight for what I think is right.
I want to stand up for myself.
Trying to make sure I take care of myself in as many ways as possible.
Life throws a lot at us. Right?
Okay, so…. here is a subtweet from Raymi … presumably she is trying to talk about me.
In my opinion, she is talking about herself. She is very angry at me all the time and seems to need to be.
This is very trollish.
What gives her the idea that I need to be angry all the time? Is she living my life?
So, she is insinuating that I have a bunch of random, displaced anger which I spontaneously have generated due to my evil nature, I guess; and, my anger levels increase when specifically her happiness increases. I am so unhealthy, you see. This angelic, innocent bystander is the focus of all of my mental illness for NO REASON. Other than I cannot stand for her to ever enjoy her life.
but then she will turn around and tweet about how much empathy she has for Heather Locklear. “Get this girl some help!” she says.
Raymi doesn’t care about what I may have been through in my life and if anything she blames me for anything that may have been difficult for me in my life. It’s my fault and I deserve anything bad which has ever happened to me or ever will.
Whenever I talk about her to people IRL, they always ask me if I have met her in real life. Nope. Never met this bitch, but she seems to know a bunch of stuff about my life which I never told her and stuff which I don’t put out there for public consumption. Hmmmm. I wonder how that would be? Does she ever consider that whomever her source of information about me might be could possibly have some sort of vendetta as well? Nope, she just assumes anything bad told to her about me has got to be true and there could not possibly be another side to any of it which would garner an ounce of empathy for my situation in life.
It was a STICKER, not a joke you posted. A STICKER on your blog. That wasn’t my original reason for hating you. It was just a first impression among many which left an unpleasant taste in my mouth, so to speak. My Dad died of alcoholism, so I didn’t find it amusing. There are many many reasons other than this which add up to my enormous hatred of her. I’ve never hated anyone to this level or degree.
Not being able to look at her as a good person? All I know is her values are not in alignment with mine in many ways. She is brash, offensive and reactionary, for starters. I have recognized her attempts at being a comedian, and yes, comedians are often offensive. If someone doesn’t think you are funny, that is their prerogative. I may “get it” but i don’t like it. I was compelled by how off-putting I found her to be. She also had an audience, mostly of men (some women, too) who enjoyed her exhibitionism. Which I also found to be an affront to my general modesty as a person. I wanted to be involved in the blogging world and she had an active audience. I wanted to have an active audience, too and I wanted to be less reserved so I studied.
I would say that when she was younger she was much more interesting but some of that was just due to the platform being new. There are many other young women who seek attention in the way that she did back then, and they get it. The BASIC thing I see now is that she is nearing 40 and like all women who once got a ton of attention for their youthful sexuality, is beginning to realize that isn’t as bankable anymore. It is a common story. As time has gone by she has become more and more ‘basic’ and boring and pathetic. She clings to the past ‘glory days’ like a life preserver but it isn’t working sorry. People can see the writing on the wall. Stop living in the past. It’s over. She was a spectacle then and she is a spectacle now for different reasons.
Honestly, I don’t begrudge her any happiness she may find. I just find her braggadocio distasteful. She comes across as some kind of town crier for herself. “Look at me! I am so unique!” (no, you are not).
I, too, am an original, authentic being (and actually she is far far far from authentic). I have a rich mind, for sure. Too rich, really. I have often dreamed of being one of the ignorant sheeple, it seems so much easier. She doesn’t seem to have to work too hard at it, tho. All the inane celebrity worshipping, for example. Popular culture is her God. It is gross to me. It always seems like she is just clinging to popular culture trying to use it as a way to get some reflected glory for herself. She watches the trending topics to look for ways to use them to get attention for herself. It kinda works to keep her numbers up a little but the attention is superficial and short-lived. Treading water.
She talks about my “rumpled body” and my “shitty personality” as though (if those statements were true) I am responsible for them, like I choose them. I choose to have a “rumpled body” because I don’t know any better? Like her body is so much better or the bodies of her female friends? This is the attack. She claims I am attacking her and her boyfriends. No. I don’t give a shit if she has a boyfriend, I just think it is totally ridiculous the way she uses them for narcissistic supply. She has not spent any time with me so she can’t really be a judge of my personality or how people react to it. This, to her, is some kind of competition. SHE has an amazing body, I don’t. She has a great personality, I don’t.
The thing is, if you look at her blog, instagram and twitter….. There are only like 7 people who regularly interact with her social media. Accounts who are actually popular get hundreds of comments on everything they post. Her following is actually falsely obtained by her methods of over-saturating various online platforms with old photos of her being a “thirst trap”.
Where are all of these people who care about her opinions? Also, did my mom contact you and tell you how much she can’t stand me? I wonder why my own mother can’t stand me? If she really can’t stand me…. why am I unaware of this and need some bitch from Canada to announce it on her twitter feed? Does this make ME look bad or HER that she would say something so ridiculous? She constantly tries to tell me that no one in my family loves me or likes me. Gee, I wonder who is the angry one here? The one who feels the need to take out their own dissatisfaction with life on someone else?
And of course, everyone always ADORES her. and her life RULES. Which begs the question, what the hell is she doing filling her twitter timeline up with this spewed hate about a complete loser psycho???????
she has NOTHING else to do with her life but obsessively monitor the opinions of someone she hates. shrug.
What with her amazing new boyfriend and his parents and her amazing job and all of her friends and fans. Why spend her time on me? I’ve never understood that.
Oh, also she makes a big huge deal about being a sapiosexual. Even branded her bicep with a tattoo indicating as much. So, I made a joke that it must not take a lot to turn her on because most people are smarter than she is. (haha) her response follows:
I was not comparing her intelligence to my intelligence, but I already know I am way more intelligent than she is. She is a complete moron. I have witnessed how totally stupid she is a million times. None of the above-mentioned accomplishments have anything to do with how intelligent someone is. Sapiosexual, my ass.
I also don’t feel the need to explain to the world how intelligent I am. I find being super smart to be problematic and unpleasant, actually.
She is so full of shit, someone finally called her on it.
So fake. Such a hypocrite. Anything SHE does is always explainable. Anything I DO is always my fault and due to me just being a horrible THING. not even human. She said it to her blog. Well, I AM SAYING THIS TO MY BLOG.
Like, I said, it isn’t about her. Maybe it is about how I feel. My thoughts about someone else’s abusive behavior toward me. I want to be able to say my piece. I am not supposed to have any reaction to all of this b.s.?
She is a psycho. I know it. Other people know it. She may or may not know it. I don’t think she is big on self-reflection.