i feel like i’ve been alive for too long.
someone kill me? jk
but srsly, life is a struggle for everyone and if it’s not a struggle for you, then i hope you are out there helping other people because i don’t know anyone for whom it isn’t a struggle. it’s called ‘impermanence’… sickness, old age and death come to us all. YAY! right? but nobody wants to talk about that. we all want to be POSITIVE and HAPPY-GO-LUCKY at ALL TIMES!
guess what, tho!? actually, if you were happy all the time, you wouldn’t really be growing.
you know that, right?
who needs to grow?
humanity needs to grow. we have far too much misery and injustice on this planet. it’s not right.
anyway, i’ve never been a very joyful, exuberant person and that’s okay.
i have had the opportunity to work with many differently-abled humans and i love them! i am also differently-abled and that is fine. we aren’t all the same. it’s biology and DNA.
what matters to you matters to you and what matters to someone else may not be the same thing. really that doesn’t even have to show up on your radar.
i’ve had an unpaid vacation because i am a substitute teacher and there’s no school for almost three weeks over Christmas and New Year. Lame for me. I’ve been looking for a part-time job to cover these unpaid vacations because even though i consider this seasonal employment, the state disagrees with me. that’s fine. i don’t mind looking for supplemental work. it’s interesting, actually. i’ve been putting in my applications and submitting my resumes. it gets old just hanging around in my apartment and it’s been raining constantly. dark, grey days for days.
my nails are so ratchet. gold star! rawr!
not sure if you know this about me but i am pretty antisocial. i have often wondered if i am on the autism spectrum because i just really don’t care to have social interactions much, it just seems awkward, forced and uncomf for me, always. frequently i have little interest in what other people are talking about and my mind just starts wandering to observing the things around me and thinking my own thoughts. it’s exhausting for me to stay focused on other people they just seem so boring! for the most part. occasionally i do find a person who interests me… but we are talking about there are less than ten EVER that i’ve known.
here is some kind of snack i had last week.
anyway, by this time in my life, i am starting to not even care that i don’t like other people and socializing and all that crap! WHO CARES?! sick of trying to be like everyone else. they can tell that i am not. may as well just go with it.
jalapeno cheddar bagel with an egg.
anyway, it’s gonna be back to work for me soon. that’s good. it’s good for me. i am grateful.
so, do i have a new year resolution?
Practice Good Self Care!