everyone must stand alone

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I loaded all the pictures for this blog post 5 days ago and only now am I getting around to adding some words.

these photos are from last weekend not this most recent one but a week ago when my SO and I went to denios Swap Meet & flea market.

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it was a warm day we’ve been having triple-digit weather, on the weekends especially, but yesterday and today 102+

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being on vacation is making me feel fat. my weight hasn’t actually changed for many many years but the makeup of my body changes and lately, I have too much fat on my midsection. this is what happens when you’re 42 years old– it’s really hard to keep the metabolism up. especially when you’re sitting around a lot during the day and eating is sort of like entertainment.

these aren’t excuses… it’s just the way life is. my life anyway. my life– my blog: my self expression, my opinions.

very few of the people who read this blog (which is also very small number) even have WordPress accounts… so they can’t sign in to leave a comment here.

you can interact with me on Twitter or Instagram or ello.
follow the links on the sidebar to my Twitter account or my Instagram account.

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I dislike facebook very much. I just don’t like the general feeling of it & it’s a lot of crud. it’s kind of like the worst pulp fiction or National Enquirer. I just don’t like the feelings that it engenders and the thoughts that it provokes, but I still look at it because rummaging through all of the riff-raff every once in awhile you see something interesting. I just really try to limit my time and exposure there.

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ello is my favorite because there’s a lot of really good quality stuff on there that’s interesting and unique and personal and expands my horizons.

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for most of my life, I have suffered from long-term low-level dysthymia. translation: I’m emo.
sometimes all that really feels like is it feels like something’s not right but you can’t figure out what it is. so it makes it hard for me to make decisions, to take actions; and, I spend a lot of time thinking and overthinking things instead of doing stuff.

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I’m almost finished reading Wicked. I probably have about 25 pages left til I reach the end of the book. I have other books waiting in line to be read.

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last week I went through a terrible spell of back pain that must have been a pinched nerve or some kind of spasm but I could barely even move or walk for 24 to 48 hours pretty much. in my mind I started to wonder if this was just going to be the way it was forever and then I figured my tolerance for pain would increase and perhaps it would be the new normal but it’s better now, thank goodness, because that was awful.

when I went to the doctor and we looked over my xrays she was saying that typically they recommend surgery when the degree of curvature of the spine is as high as mine and it’s hard for me to comprehend having surgery on my spine, so I think the next step is going to be physical therapy first.

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so here we are, it’s another Monday. Time marches on. what does it all mean?

the repetition of life is really weird to me. It’s like that movie Groundhog’s Day, you know?

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Oh well. I’m probably just an idiot. Haha. What’s a girl to do?

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Being a grown up is hard, kids. it ain’t no cake walk, let me tell you.

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