i really don’t think it’s cool when people starve themselves in order to become ridiculously and unattractively thin. it’s a mental illness. there is no reason to punish yourself or torture yourself. exercise and eat healthy. starvation is stupidity. don’t be dumb. it’s not cute.
so, i’m on vacation and trying to take care of tons of responsibilites but it’s sorta not going well. baby steps, i guess. there is so much to do and so much time! how to stay focused and organized? i make lists and try to keep them up-to-date. i am so easily distracted.
here i was trying to see how my bathing suit looked and my back, because of my scoliosis, about which i am self-conscious. i always feel like a hideously deformed cripple. i’m not making light of it, either, because this pic doesn’t really show the worst angle and also it does hurt all the time. right at this very moment, even. always.
i’m not comfortable wearing bikinis in general but especially not around family members. i am uber modest like more than anyone i know. walking around at a resort where everyone is half-naked is difficult for me to process. it trips me out that people seem so comfortable with it. i’m working on this issue because i think it is messed-up that i have so many ‘hang-ups’ about it.
made this cole slaw with really just plain yogurt and a little mayo. i was in a hurry. next time i might put forth a little more flavoring effort. it wasn’t bad, tho. i try to stay on the healthy track, but life is hard and sometimes you just want to eat something yummy. so i do. no deprivation, self-punishment crap. life’s too short. or long. haha. i always say that. anyway, i’m at the library and i really need to try to focus on doing something responsible while i’m on the computer…. so more soon, k? 😀