when your life starts to feel stagnant at any point in time the best thing you can do is do something different than what you normally do on a daily basis so doing the same thing everyday is like a death sentence you can’t do it I’m a very, I like routine to a certain extent but… If you don’t switch things up once in awhile you’re just going to feel entrapped by your own life and its all up to you what you do you want to make a difference in your own life.

life isn’t always easy just ask the IBEX I mean it’s a constant struggle for survival in one way or another humans are a complicated species we have really intricate emotions and social lives

I recently watched interstellar and it took me several watchings to even be able to stay focused long enough to understand what was going on. Matthew McConaughey is an awesome actor by the way… It brought up a lot of questions it was mostly about time travel but a lot of questions about you know what are humans for in the first place why do we have emotions?

people are always going on and on about how we create our own reality with our thoughts do we do that and if so why and wow and scary. But at the same time it’s pretty awesome because you’re here in this like virtual reality of some sort and you can manipulate it and impacted by making choices. If you honestly don’t like the way things are going in the outcomes you’re experiencing you do have the power to change your actions and it will change the results.

I don’t think we’re meant to be victims and maybe we learn to be victims at some point in our lives from older family members or whatever like it’s some kind of tradition and certain cultures to think of yourself as a victim of your life but you really aren’t. Everything that you decide to think affects what you decide to do and what you decide to do if affects what you experienced. On some level we all know this.

we all experience disappointments setbacks etc it’s part of life it just is I don’t know why I can’t tell you why but sometimes it’s for the best. If we never experienced that box if we always got everything that we wanted the first time what whatever motivate us to try harder I personally am not a very ambitious person I don’t have lofty goals for myself I don’t want a lot of material possessions or any type of outward signs of success… So what’s going to be my motivator? I don’t even really believe in happiness because I believe in impermanence which is the reason that we all suffer I don’t believe that we’re here to always be happy. Buddhism says that yes we deserve happiness… idk. It gets confusing

and I just spilled a miniscule drop of red wine on my lovely beautiful gap ribbed tank yellow and white stripes. See? It’s always something.

I’m not really an optimist I consider myself to be a realist I think people who are overly optimistic are naive imbeciles personally but ok you know no judging I just think that it’s a pollyannaish attitude to always say that we can, we need, to always be happy no matter what our circumstances are but then again you know people who lived in concentration camps were capable of being happy it’s all in how you choose to look at things and has a lot to do with the type of life force that you have.

I live with chronic pain and I don’t really take responsibility for that because it was a congenital disorder or whatever I was born with it it’s something that happened to my spine my spine is totally crooked and it hurts it hurts. that pain is real.

not everything is in my control. other people’s actions are not always in my control and just because other people’s actions might be unpleasant to me doesn’t mean that I can ignore it and stick my head up in the clouds and pretend like everything is made out of rainbows. The solution is more in depth than that. That’s an oversimplification.

all I know is that I am here and that gives me the right to live.


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