life (sprung)

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these nachos had chili on them.
they were enjoyable.
we split them between the three of us… my mother, my daughter and myself.

hello. i drank wine today. There goes my 17 day stretch.
BAM!

HOWEVER! out of the month of january so far, which has been 25 days, I have only had three days of drinking.
and it wasn’t entire days
it was a couple glasses each night.
that is definitely at least moderation management.

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this morning i had a whole bunch of dreams. that was awesome. i slept in later than usual so had an extra sleep cycle. SWEET! dreaming is super cool. i am grateful for it. i want some more of it.

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the weather here is straight up SPRING! man.

so the reason i drank (ha ha , like we need a reason, right?)was ……………..
because people are stupid jerks.
argh.
because I DID NOT and DO NOT know how to handle certain social circumstances, no matter how hard i want to or how hard i try even when i am shaking with adrenaline due to some horrible thing that i perceive to be happening, i.e. panic attack.

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some people who are charming use their charm to manipulate and take advantage of others. they do it on purpose but i am not sure they are always conscious of it. others might be conscious of it but may not think there is anything wrong with it.
i think it’s better to be brave and honest about what you want and who you are. but i’m no one to talk or give real advice about anything. i’m inept.

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i had lots of vivid dreams this morning. that was cool.
hasta la vista, babies.

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